Cheshire Potter
by Dragonist
Summary: One day, a little five year old boy named Harry wanders into the woods. What wanders out of the woods, you ask? Let's just say that the wizarding world will never know what hit it. Literally, seeing as half of what hit it was invisible at the time.


Read the AN. To keep the apparently illegal "chapter only made of an author's note" from being deleted, here is Not the Story.

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Peter didn't know where he had went wrong. Was it when he had first betrayed his best buddy to the Dark Lord? Was it when he had first decided that following a young boy around a school staffed with super strong professors who wouldn't have a second thought about castrating him if they found out what he had done was a good idea? Was it when he had eaten that second slice of bacon off of his latest redhead's plate?

Yes, Pettigrew shivered as he inched towards the edge of the table. It was probably the bacon. To think! If he was just the teensiest bit less fat, he might have been able to escape this foul conglomeration!

"Now, Mr. Doormouse," a black haired brat that looked disturbingly like his ex-best friend James trilled out as he poured a steaming hot cup of tea. "Would you like one sugar cube, or two?"

"Hoot!" Viscous, beady black eyes glared at him from under a tall top hat. "Who, who, hoot!" Peter gulped, his whiskers quivering, as the owl explained, at length and in detail, just what was going to happen to him if he got just one more little mouse dropping in her biscuits.

"Now, come on, Hedwig!" The black haired brat poured cream into the owl's tea cup with a very liberal hand. "I know he isn't the best for the position, but where else are we going to find a rat at this hour?"

Peter watched, wide eyed with fright and amazement, as the owl shrugged. He didn't know owls could shrug.

"A creamy cup of tea for my favorite Hatter!" The black haired brat beamed as he slid the delicate looking china across the table, the tea threatening to spill out over the top.

"And for you, Mr. Doormouse," the black haired brat turned to Peter, who froze. He had to work very, very hard on controlling his natural instinct to "run! Flee! Get the hell out of there, you masochistic bastard!"

And his bladder. Don't forget the bladder. Peter cast a wary look at the owl. He would _never_ forget what it done the last time he forgot and shit on her biscuits.

His poor perforated colon wouldn't let him.

"You've been a very, _very_ naughty mouse, haven't you?" Peter's breath caught. The black haired brat was looking at him with a very wide smirk on his face-

and suddenly, more than anything, Peter looked up into his ex-best friend's face and saw a cat grinning back at him.

Oh shit, Peter thought as the black haired brat moved in closer. I_ definitely_ shouldn't have had that last piece of bacon.

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A/N:

Okay. I've finally decided to do it. Cheshire Harry is no more.

Or, at least, no more the extremely embarrassing thing it was. Even though re-reading this made me want to cry, I've decided it had to be done. So, here is the slightly less embarrassing, all new, version of Harry Potter Meets Wonderland and then Freaks the Shit out of the Wizarding World. Obviously, this is far too long a title, so I guess I'll stick with the old one until I can find a way to shorten it up.

Anyway, if any of you people can remember this fic (I sincerely hope you can't, because, really, what a thing to be remembered for) rest assured that it's going to...

Actually, forget the rest assured part. Rest un-assured, if you must, or just don't rest at all, because quite frankly, I'm afraid of your subconscious.

This is mostly because of the impression mine has had upon me.

So, as a brief... refresher, or summary, or whatever, here it goes:

Harry is adorable. Harry is hated. Harry is fucking curious as shit. One day, he sticks in his nose in something he really shouldn't have, and this time, curiosity really does kill the cat. Or at least, the cat's body. And when the Cheshire Cat senses a different body already harboring more than one soul, well, it can hardly resist jumping into that party.

Yeah. I don't know what I was on when I thought that up either.


End file.
